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WHAT I LEARNED THIS YEAR

Uncategorized Dec 07, 2017

 

·      My core people are amazing, those who stick by you when you’re at your darkest and will sleep beside you or lay with you on the kitchen floor in a puddle are the souls true connections, and I will never let them go. 

·      People care.  They really care.  From delivering meals, to shoveling snow, spending time with my kids, putting up fire alarms, moving trees down, handing money over, delivering groceries, painting, or just stopping in to have a tea or a drink with me, I saw an incredible side of human kind.

·      I am deeply loved by so many and have so much gratitude and then gratitude for the new gratitude. 

·      That love never stops, I still love my husband just as much today as the day he left us, I still talk to him everyday.  I still ask him for guidance in my decisions.  He is a part of my soul forever.

·      Greif is permanent, you don’t get over it, and the sadness finds a home within you.  There is no manual, the “steps” are just guidelines, I never experienced all of them, I felt different things not on the list, everyday is a new navigation of new emotions.

·      Life doesn’t have to be so serious.  Laugh, love, live.  Let go of the rules that limit you, they are all bullshit anyway.

·      You can live in grief and pure joy at the same time.

·      You cant fix death, as a parent, this was the first time I could not coach, influence or fix the pain away, each one of my children has their own journey to go through with their loss.

·      It’s okay to just say I can’t do today, and love yourself instead.

·      I am capable of being alone, I don’t “need” someone to take care of me, I take care of me.

·      You cant make me sad, you cant remind me that the centre of my life is gone I feel it everyday, don’t pretend he didn’t exist, honor him, talk about him, SAY HIS NAME.

·      When you feel like shit, helping someone else creates amazing hopeful energy.

·      That when you believe “I will NEVER feel better again” trust me you will.

·      That one-day at a time is not only a guideline for grief but for everyday life for all of us.  Being present is what brings happiness.

·      Laughing really is the best medicine, surrounding yourself with people that make you laugh is gold.

 ·      Fear is an illusion, we have no control of the external world, and there is nothing to fear when it happens you just deal with what’s in front of you.

 ·      The little things are the big things.  Its not as much the anniversaries and the birthdays, it’s the Sunday morning coffee in bed, taking about the kids, laughing at stupid things, kissing, going to the home depot together, snuggles on the couch, watching him interact with his children, the everyday things we take for granted – those are the moments that matter.

 ·      Getting outside support as soon as possible is essential to your healing and self care, there is no shame in saying I need help.

 ·      Anything can be an adventure when you are with people you love and you create it, making dinner, cleaning the house, a trip to Costco, its all what you make it.

 ·      That I can do some “blue” (man) jobs that I never thought I would before, but still prefer not too. ;)

 ·      My kids are AMAZING human beings – even more so than before.  They survived and will thrive; they know compassion now on a deeper level than those who have not experienced such loss.

 ·      That I can have love again in my life, that I want to one day, that I can love bigger now than ever before because of who I have become and that when I do, it will not diminish the love I have for my husband one bit, and that’s okay.

 ·      Snoring is a beautiful comforting sound.

 ·      There is always time for snuggles in bed.

 ·      Holidays are very painful for so many people, its not the happiest time of the year as I had previously believed.

 ·      Being active outside is like an anti-depressant.

 ·      Don’t be afraid to ask for help for whatever it is, people want you to ask, they are lost on how to help sometimes.

 ·      There is no time to waste on menial issues they don’t matter anyway.

 ·      Spending time with people who have experienced the same thing is essential, when you can be with someone else who “gets it” you feel understood in a new way.

 ·      That whatever you feel it’s okay, it’s just where you are, just accept it and love yourself through it.

 ·      My life, my journey, my business, other peoples critique of my life is of no interest to me.

 ·      All people struggle, there is no competition; we are all here trying to figure out our own journey.

 ·      Vulnerability is hard, it opens you up for hurt, but it’s the key to happiness, I will continue to practice it.

 ·      That I still have lots to work on, I am a permanent work in progress, and will continue to be for the rest of my life.

 ·      I am a strong amazing woman and I can handle anything that comes my way, I can create a life I want and deserve, and I wont settle for anything less than making my husband so proud.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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