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The Storms of Grief

Uncategorized Jan 26, 2018

For me Grief is like a storm that comes in and pours down on you, sometimes it comes in fierce with booming thunder, lightening, and wind that takes out everything in its path, destroying hopes, futures and dreams. 

Sometimes a storm rolls in slowly, you can sense it in the air, water, or by the formation of the sky, you can settle in to the expectation of what is to come. 

Like the dampness of the rain on your clothing can give you chills, and an uncomfortable longing to strip free from its confining clinging.

Grief settles within you, finding its home, that place where you can touch it, visit it, and lock it deep within, leaning in to the discomfort until it becomes so familiar it almost feels comfortable. 

It can make things ugly, frightening, overwhelming & lonely. It can also make things beautiful, peaceful, and feel full of gratitude.

It takes your brain to places you wish you could forget, un-know or never go again. 

It creates chaos, disorganized thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. 

It takes you to a primal fear of survival, loss of safety, security, love, connection, confidence, self worth, and the painful awareness of our own mortality. 

You can beg to God or the universe to change your reality, bargain, and make genuine promises to be better. 

But Mother Nature and God always win; there is no bargaining with her, God or the Universe.  So you ride the storm, unsure if you will survive, unsure if you want to survive.

And then suddenly the storm quiets, the winds calm, the clouds begin to pass and the sun shows its power again and warms your skin, drying your dampened clothes. 

It has left a new smell in the air, the grass is greener, flowers brighter, the birds sing, a feeling of new beginnings, and you feel a small glimmer of hope, you close your eyes and breath, and suddenly gratitude, for I am alive.

And you live in the moment and enjoy the lightness and the warmth, knowing that soon another storm will come through, but you learn to prepare, you learn its okay, because you have seen proof that even in the darkest of storms the sun always shines again. 

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